This Modern Day Groom chose a classic black tuxedo and black bow tie.
*Photographer | Dennis Crider*

Gone are the days of the “Yes, Dear” groom simply showing up the morning of the wedding.

And as someone who has been planning weddings for over 25 years, I’ve had a front row seat to the rapid evolution of the modern day groom.

In the past, weddings were completely focused on the bride stemming from traditions that began hundreds of years ago. But with shifts in social expectations and trends, wedding planning has shifted as well.

While the bride is still, of course, a huge feature of the big day, weddings have become more about the couple together.

So what is the biggest overarching change I’ve noticed in the modern day groom?

The Modern Day Groom is Involved

Early in my career, most wedding planning decisions occurred with brides and their moms and the occasional mother in law.

This modern day groom chose a nontraditional color for his tuxedo and looked sharp.
Photographer | Kevin Chuey Photography

But about 10 years ago (or maybe even less), I started to notice more and more grooms joining in on planning meetings, venue walk throughs, tastings, and even floral and design decisions.

Now, it’s almost shocking if I don’t meet, or plan, with both the bride and groom.

But it makes me wonder why.

Why are grooms more involved in wedding planning than decades of grooms before them?

And while it’s safe to assume there are a lot of factors that contributed to this change in wedding planning, in my opinion, the biggest factor is - a conversation most like to avoid - money.

Funding has changed

Traditionally, the bride’s family paid for the wedding; however, those traditions began (and continued) when weddings were smaller and way less expensive than they are today.

With growing expectations (thanks to social media and Pinterest) and growing price tags on just about everything, it’s no longer expected that the bride’s family will pay.

And sometimes, it’s not even possible, for the bride’s family to fully fund the wedding.

So who might pay for the wedding in the era of the modern day groom?

1. 50/50 Split

In many cases, the bride’s family still pays, but it’s becoming more common to see both families split the cost of the wedding 50/50.

If the bride’s family isn’t paying for the entire wedding (or at least most of it) then the decisions don’t typically rest solely with her and her family anymore.

Which means grooms (and their parents) have become more involved in the planning process.

This groom and his groomsmen chose a classic black tux and bow tie, but modernized the look without socks - a more recent trend in dressy menswear.
*Photographer | Dennis Crider*

2. The Engaged Couple

The engaged couple may be more likely to pay for two reasons:

Couples marry later in life.
They’re both working full time.

In 2022, the average age for a woman in the US to get married was 30 years old and for a man, 32 years old.

That is a stark contrast from even the year 2000 (which in my brain is 3 years ago but is really 23 years ago. I digress.) In the year 2000, the average US groom got married at 26 years old and the average bride was 25.

While this may not seem so different in terms of age, think of it in terms of work experience. The average age of a college grad (with an undergraduate degree) in the year 2000 was 22 years old.

So if couples graduated at 22 in the year 2000, and got married at 25 or 26, that gave them only 3-4 years to complete post-graduate programs or become established in careers before getting married.

In most cases, that is not enough time to effectively grow a career and save enough money to fund a wedding.

In 2022, the average age of a college grad was almost 23 years old.

I know that’s not much different than the 22 year old grad of the year 2000.

But the 23 year old graduates of 2022 may not get married until 30 or 32 years old. That gives them 7-9 years to establish a career, finish a post-grad program, and save money for a wedding.

Now, that is a huge difference in time.

With established careers, it’s no surprise that both the bride and the groom would be able to fully (or partially fund) their own wedding.

And in those cases, the groom may want to be completely (or at least more) involved in the wedding planning process since they are funding it together.

The Modern Day Groom Cares about His Wedding Day Attire

Not to imply that grooms of past generations didn’t care about their appearance on their wedding day, but it seems that modern day grooms have grown to care more about style especially when it comes to wedding day trends.

1. The Tuxedo

This groom chose a custom nontraditional tux. The dark green color and velvet material combined with his green tennis shoes, for optimal comfort, was perfect for their outdoor, lake front wedding. Photographer | Joyful Vows

Grooms used to simply rent a black tux that fit the best, and call it a day. But now, I see more grooms opt for custom fit tuxes, and the style has evolved.

Tuxes have come a long way. While a classic black tux is still just that - classic - it’s not uncommon to see grooms step outside the box and choose a different color jacket.

More and more, grooms are choosing navy, dark green, and even maroon rather than black or white to wear on their wedding day. And now, even different materials are available to add more visual interest and style.

But it doesn’t stop with the choice of tux.

2. Accessories

This groom also had less obvious personalized details like the embroidered initials on his shirt cuff. Photographer | Joyful Vows

Not only does the modern day groom have more choices when it comes to tuxes, but they’ve also stepped outside the box when it comes to accessories from everything down to sock choice (or going sockless all together). Socks became a huge trend for grooms in recent years, so it’s not uncommon to see a groom choose a wild pattern for himself and even for his groomsman.

On top of socks, grooms also have a other accessories to consider:

Tie or bow tie
Suspenders
Shoes
Cufflinks
Pocket squares

All of these accessories used to be pretty basic and straightforward in the past. But now, each one is an opportunity for the groom to make a statement and stand out in his own way.

3. Boutonniere

Florists have also upped the game when it comes to grooms. While it’s still fashionable to wear a classic boutonniere, florists began to create new styles to grace the groom’s lapel.

Floral pocket squares (also known as a pocket Boutonniere) are now becoming a more common choice among modern day grooms.

So rather than having both a boutonniere and a pocket square, grooms are opting to combine the two and make one statement on their lapel.

Article: “What is a Pocket Square Boutonniere?”

It goes without saying, (although I just said a lot about it) the modern day groom is not the “show up on the wedding day without a clue of any detail” type of guy.

Grooms have evolved quite a bit over the years and have taken more of a hands on approach.

Now, wedding planning has become more of a team effort not only financially, but also when it comes to overall design and style, and even the nitty gritty decisions.

And I have to say, it’s nice to see the modern day groom get more involved. Afterall, it’s his wedding day too.

But no matter what a couple decides, no matter who is paying or who is making decisions, the most important factor is that it works for the couple and their families.

And as a wedding planner, my job is to help whoever I work with in order to create their dream wedding day.

Read “6 Reasons to Hire a Wedding Planner”

Follow Sterling Events on all of our social media platforms for more tips and tricks while you’re planning your wedding.

The Evolution of the Modern Day Groom