3 Secrets to Create a Memorable Rehearsal Dinner for your Wedding
Don’t skip over the details of your rehearsal dinner. Make it memorable with a few simple tips to ensure a beautiful night for you and your fiancé.
Photographer: Style and Story Creative
I see it all the time. Couples spend countless hours, weeks, months, and even years planning their wedding day only to have it fly by before they have a chance to fully soak it in.
Why does this happen?
Well, first maybe they didn’t hire a wedding planner so the actual wedding day was too much work for those who should have been enjoying every minute.
But two…because wedding days are A LOT on the newlyweds.
Guests want your attention, photographers want to steal you away for a magical nighttime photo in the street which is only supposed to take 5 minutes but ends up taking 30.
There is usually a checklist of activities that many brides want to accomplish throughout the day from throwing the bouquet to, the garter removal, cutting the cake, first dances, parent dances, toasts, and more.
Photographer: Style and Story Creative
And while those activities will be lifelong memories (and gorgeous photos), they often leave couples wondering where the night went, if they had a single drink, and usually starving.
This is why, as a wedding planner who has seen this over 150 times, I LOVE the rehearsal dinner.
The rehearsal dinner is an opportunity for the engaged couple to select a smaller group of people to share an intimate, slow paced, enjoyable evening without stress, timelines, a checklist of activities, or timed photo-ops.
So how do you accomplish a phenomenal rehearsal dinner?
1. Consider a theme
Clambake catered by Mazzulo’s Market in Bainbridge, Ohio
Before you scoff, hear me out.
I know the word theme can really throw people off. I’m not saying that you have to have a cheesy theme, but a theme in general can really help set the tone for the entire evening.
Venue and food: Pizza 216
A theme can be chosen based off of culture, favorite food, or even a fun location, and it can be developed using decor, food, drinks, and music.
It’s those details that create an elevated, unique experience for everyone in attendance.
I’ve planned several themed rehearsal dinners, so I can speak from experience when I say, it makes the night so much fun.
Some of my favorite past themes based off of food were a lobster clambake and an italian night. But I’ve also planned a Michigan/Ohio State rehearsal dinner theme when my couple went to rival schools, and I’ve even done a Lady and the Tramp theme.
Don’t get trapped in the mundane run of the mill rehearsal dinner when you can have an event that wows your guests.
2. Keep it intimate
The groom, and the couple’s children, were able to give beautiful speeches in a smaller, intimate setting at the rehearsal dinner.
Photo by Style and Story Creative
When wedding planning, your guest lists can quickly get out of hand. While it may be difficult to lessen the number of individuals invited to the wedding, it is totally possible (and encouraged) to keep your rehearsal dinner guest list to a small, intimate number of people.
Now, I understand that everyone has a different number in mind when I say intimate. Some of my couples have giant families where a typical immediate family birthday party is 60 people, so for them, a low head count for a rehearsal dinner may be in the 60-100 range. While others may feel under 40 is the perfect amount for them.
No matter what, plan to keep this number WAY lower than your wedding guest list. Like I’m talking 10-15% or less of your total guest list. So for my couples with huge immediate and extended families, if you’ve planning to invite 500 people to your wedding, I’d advise no more than 50-75 people on the rehearsal guest list.
Why?
The couple’s children were able to give beautiful speeches in a smaller, intimate setting at the rehearsal dinner. Photo by Style and Story Creative
It’s simple math.
Less guests = more time for the couple.
More time for in-depth conversations with those you want to speak with, more time for EACH OTHER, more time to dance, drink, eat, and have fun. And overall, it gives you more time to spend the evening how YOU want to spend the evening.
An additional way to make your evening more intimate is to plan for all speeches to be given at the rehearsal dinner. Maybe you’re thinking, “But then everyone else won’t hear it. Won’t the other guests want to hear it?”
The groom, and the couple’s children, were able to give beautiful speeches in a smaller, intimate setting at the rehearsal dinner. Photo by Style and Story Creative
I’m going to be very honest with you right now…if you have 500 wedding guests, roughly 400-450 of them aren’t listening, are talking amongst themselves, or can’t hear the speeches anyway.
And more importantly, the speeches at weddings are meant for YOU as a newly married couple. Encouraging speeches to occur at the rehearsal is an opportunity for you to truly listen, savor, and enjoy the words being spoken about you and your fiance.
3. Hire vendors
Photographer: Style and Story Creative
Oftentimes, the rehearsal dinner can become an afterthought for couples getting married. But I highly encourage couples to put more energy into the rehearsal because the result is well worth it.
I get it, you’re so busy with the wedding it’s hard to think about anything else.
The good news is, if you hire (what I deem the most important vendor) a wedding planner, she will take care of every detail and can plan the rehearsal dinner for you as well.
So you get to fully enjoy your entire wedding planning process, your rehearsal dinner, and your wedding day without an ounce of worry.
It is incredibly beneficial to hire a few additional vendors to make your night special. Besides choosing a wedding planner, and the obvious, a venue and caterer (if the venue doesn’t have one), I highly recommend hiring:
1. Photographer
This is often overlooked by so many couples, but honestly, the rehearsal dinner is an important part of your wedding, and you’re going to want nice photos WITHOUT having to worry about carrying your phone around all night taking them yourself.
Hiring a photographer is a MUST when it comes to planning your rehearsal dinner. You will not regret it.
2. DJ or live band
Mariachi Aguilas De Oro played at this Mexican themed rehearsal dinner. Photographer: Callaway Gable
Depending on the tone you want to set for the night, the addition of music can elevate your theme and/or create a nice ambiance for guests.
Hosting an Italian themed dinner? Play Italian music. OSU/Michigan theme? Have a sing off of the fight songs.
No matter what type of music is playing, don’t forget to dance. Remember, the wedding reception flies by, and sometimes couples feel they don’t get enough time to just have fun and dance, so be sure to have fun at the rehearsal.
Bonus: DJs and Bands have microphones for those speeches!
No matter what you decide, I encourage you to put effort into planning the rehearsal dinner so that it’s a night you’ll LOVE and not just a checkmark off of your wedding planning to-do list.
Hey, I'm Janet, your Cleveland event planning guru!
With almost three decades of experience, I've become a pro at crafting unforgettable moments, from cozy gatherings to city-wide extravaganzas.
Whether it's coordinating with local vendors, finding the perfect venue, or even saving the day from unexpected mishaps (like covering a sprinkler head to spare the governor!), I've got you covered.
Let's bring your vision to life and make your event truly remarkable!
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